How very good to see that in these days of harsh and all-pervading money laundering regulatory diktat, a bank has emerged which is making no bones about offering a discreet way of moving large amounts of cash for private clients.
Hooray, chums, and about time too.
The venture is from Goldman Lampe Private Bank, which I am told is a registered financial entity under the jurisdiction of Gulf emirate Ras Al Khaimah under the code 7414-088.
The bank assures me that it has no links whatsoever with Goldman Sachs or German private bank Bankhaus Lampe. So much the better, then.
In seeking publicity for its no-questions-asked business model, GL says that it provides its customers with the ability to do a substantial amount of cash withdrawal and deposits with what it calls a “convoy pick-up service from homes, offices and other locations”.
On inquiry, this convoy turns out to be a car, which turns up at your front door. Not a common-or-garden minicab, it must be hoped.
Anyway, GL insists all this makes the process of withdrawal and deposit convenient, hassle-free and safe as a client will no longer have to carry large amounts of cash with them.
Goldman Lampe senior banker Stephen Lampe tells me: “We comply with all international anti-money laundering regulations. However, we do not disclose clients’ data under any circumstances. In order to be able to do so, we use network of intermediaries and trusts to keep transactions anonymous.”
All convoys are insured up to €10 million. Opening an account requires minimum formality and the client can choose not to be present physically. How useful.
What’s important, Goldman Lampe stresses, is that it provides clients with “the privilege of remaining anonymous and doing transactions that will forever remain untraceable”.
Ah, clearly diamonds and GL cash management are among the few things which are forever.
Forever doesn’t come cheap, though, as the service costs 8 percent of the amount convoyed – or not less than €5,000.
While the bank says it operates internationally, its website shows that a private banking telephone service is available only in the UK, Russia and the Czech Republic.
In other initiatives, the bank has just finished integrating crypto-currency wallets into its internet banking system so clients can trade in cryptos in real time.
*Historical note: Ras Al Khaimah nestles next to Oman near the entrance to the Arabian Gulf. In the 18th century, it attracted the British label “The Pirate Coast” because of interference with shipping coming to and fro from His Majesty's expanding colonies.
The Strait of Hormuz is of course nowadays the scene of occasional piratical action by Iran’s Revolutionary Guard on unfortunate shipping.
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
Pip pip, mateys
